Home-Made Sex Toys

We’re over half-way through the semester now. This means that a lot of you, especially those of you who are away from lovers, are probably starting to get a little antsy by now.

Hey, it’s nothing to be ashamed about — you’re all adults. Adults who have needs and desires, not to mention all the tension and stress from your busy schedules and course work that needs to be relieved somehow.

It’s no wonder that you start eyeing your roommate’s new vibrating toothbrush when you get up in the middle of the night to take a short break from working on that assignment.

You have needs that sometimes your hand just can’t fulfill and we all know that the average high-quality sex toy doesn’t always fit into a starving student’s budget.

Heck, a rabbit vibrator like the one from Sex and the City can cost you anywhere from $50 to $160!

But not to worry, dear reader, your very own sex columnist is on the case! I have developed a fabulous list of great ways that you can satisfy those carnal urges using everyday items from your very own home:

For myreaders with a penis, you could try slipping a condom into an empty toilet paper tube or into half of a paper towel tube. Then fold the open end of the condom open over one end of the tube and hold it down with your hand. Lube up, slide in and pump.

You can get free condoms from Health Services and everyone has empty toilet paper tubes, so this is a pretty cheap method.

You could also try this: squirt a bunch of lube into a plastic bag and then smush it between your couch cushions or between your mattress and your box-spring. The tricky part here will be not getting any of the lube on the furniture. Once you have the lube baggy in position, just insert and "go to town."

What about grabbing a couple of small, clean sponges, wet them with warm water, squeeze them out and line them up in a plastic cup. Squirt in some lube, rub some lube on yourself and... well, you know the rest.

Or how about this: warm a cantaloupe or some other small melon on the counter in the sunshine or carefully in the microwave. Cut a hole around the same diameter as your penis on one side and scoop out a little of the melon goo, then cut a smaller hole on the opposite side of the first hole.

Lube up, insert penis and experiment with covering and uncovering the smaller hole as you stroke in and out.

Or you could grab that vibrating toothbrush and try rubbing the back of it — the non-bristled side — below the head of your penis.

Don't have a penis? No problem! I’ve got inexpensive tips for you too.

The next time you’re at the grocery store, buy yourself a nice firm fruit or veggie: an unripe banana, a cucumber, a zucchini, etc. When you get home, decide if you want to use it warm or cold.

Some people like the coldness of a previously refrigerated cucumber, while others prefer to warm theirs up for a few seconds in the microwave. Then slip it into a condom, tie off the end, insert and enjoy.

The benefit of using food items like these is that you can peel and eat them afterwards — it’s very environmentally friendly!

Of course, if you find the idea of playing with your food unappetising, you could try using other items from around your house.

Things like thick highlighters, the handle of a hairbrush, your toothbrush carrying case, the handle of your squash raquet, etc, could be the just thing to help you through a nice refreshing study break. Just avoid using items that are sharp, contain harmful chemicals (like C batteries) or are breakable (like a perfume bottle). And when in doubt, use a condom to make sure that everything is nice and clean when you use it.

For a variation on the above, try cutting your cucumber in half and hollowing it out a bit or use your empty toothbrush holder — put an electric toothbrush in the open end and use this contraption as if it were a regular vibrator.

Whatever your pleasure, remember to wash anything thoroughly before you insert!

If you’re just looking for some external stimulation, forget about using the other props and just rub the back of the vibrating toothbrush on your clit.

If you don’t have a vibrating toothbrush you could try using something else, like a small container to massage your vulva. Or you could try using a towel, sheet, or blanket — hold one end of the blanket between your feet and the other in your hands. Then rock your pelvis to rub your vulva on the fabric — instant and inexpensive pleasure.

Hopefully these tips will help to get you through the rest of this semester. Though, if you want to stay on good terms with your roommate, it might be a good idea to invest in your own vibrating toothbrush — or at least don’t tell them what their toothbrush gets up to in the middle of the night. ^_~