"I’ll have what she’s having"

Every once in a while I get a question from a reader asking how to know "for sure" that their female partner isn’t faking. It seems to be a major concern, especially among the fellas.

Luckily (or unluckily) there are a few ways to tell if your partner is really having as good a time as they say.

A man can really only fake an orgasm during penetrative sex if he doesn’t use a condom or if he disposes of it quickly, before his partner sees that it is suspiciously empty. A woman doesn’t usually have tell-tale spooge to let her partner know that she’s had an orgasm, but there are other physical cues:

The sexual flush — after an orgasm her chest, neck and/or face will blush red for a few moments.

Weak knees — for many women, after an orgasm they will sometimes find their knees weak; they may also find themselves having difficulty forming longer sentences and may prefer to just lay still and cuddle for a while.

Erect nipples — some women’s nipples will become erect during orgasm and for a little while afterwards.

Do not bother listening for loud screams. The porn industry have taught us that over-the-top orgasmic screaming isn’t necessarily an orgasm.

You could just ask her. Few women will say that they are having fun in a genuine way if they are uncomfortable and/or unhappy. If she seems honest in her reassurances, then don’t press the issue. No woman wants to be caught faking, and harassing her after sex, whether she faked or not, could result in you having fewer opportunities to harass her — if you catch my drift.

She doesn’t have to orgasm to have fun or feel good. Not all women can orgasm during sex, some of us just aren’t built to, and not all women can always make it to orgasm every single time. But if you’re listening for her cues during foreplay and sex, and you’re engaging her brain and not just her body, you can be sure that when she tells you that it was good for her too, she’s almost certainly not lying.

Another interesting question e-mailed to me not long ago had to do with something I said in my article about cat-girls in October; this reader asked: "What is the connection with milk and cum?"

Well, let’s see, your average glass of cow’s milk contains 3.4 per cent protein, 3.6 per cent fat and 4.6 per cent lactose. (Lactose is a sugar molecule, made up of two simple sugars). Milk is also full of vitamins and minerals like calcium and vitamins A, D, K and B12.

Now, your average teaspoon of semen contains four per cent sperm, 11.5 per cent prostate fluid, and 60 per cent seminal vesicle fluid. The sperms are little cells made up of a lot of different things, but most notably protein and acrosome (the enzyme used to break down the egg’s barrier). Prostate fluid contains citric acid, acid phosphatase and zinc. The fluid from the seminal vesicles contains some important fatty acids and fructose (like in a peach).

Now that you know more than you probably wanted to about the composition of milk and semen, we can see that chemically, there is a connection between cum and milk. Both contain proteins, sugars and fatty acids.

But that was a little boring, surely the people who make those "Got milk?" adverts and the people who make porn with women pouring cream over themselves didn’t decide that milk was sexy because it shares basic components with semen. Let’s think about this a different way ...

Hmmm well, milk is white and cum is kinda white. I think that’s it! Milk and cum look alike — there is a metaphorical connection between these two fluids. We’ve figured out the mystery of the milk-semen connection!

This would be different from milk fetishism — erotic pleasure from lactation, breastfeeding and suckling — because it would be more about the look of the milk on an attractive body as opposed to the act of obtaining the milk.

It’s like bukkake, just not so sticky!